the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
