i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
