My brain says no but my pants say off.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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