Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
