you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
