sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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