she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
