the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
