i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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