I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
