I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Randomize
