one two three fourrrrnication!
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
