she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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