OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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