Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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