he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
