No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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