She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I forget how to act sober
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
