Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
