Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
