Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
