Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(941): View more from Florida

I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"

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(763): View more from Minnesota

I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium

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(219): View more from Indiana

Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.

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(408): View more from California

Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?

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(802): View more from Vermont

Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not

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