You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
