I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
