why didn't you poke me back
What a fucking waste of an outfit
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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