We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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