What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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