dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Randomize
