I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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