Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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