is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
