we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
