I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
