Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
