You can't motorboat a personality
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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