he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
