told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
