He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
