well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
