he wants to bone in the snuggie
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
