He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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