i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
