Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
COCAINE IS GR8
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
