what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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