it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
