Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
