I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
