I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
