They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
