hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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